I am a mandated reporter. This means that at any time I suspect abuse, I must report it to Child Protective Services. I would rather report and be wrong, then to not report at all. Lately, I have had so many incidences of children being removed from their homes, and my thin skin can't handle it.
Due to confidentiality agreements, I will not go into details of the reported abuse. But one report really struck me. I am filling in the gaps of incidents that I don't know and therefor I am making some risky assumptions, but I believe that a first grader is no longer in custody of his mother because she can't afford him. I know that for a while they were homeless. The mother even cried with me (yes with me because I am a softy and dropped a tear with her) that she is so thankful that he has somewhere safe to be everyday after school. As much as this melts my heart, I am now devastated that she has lost her son temporarily.
I have parents come to me often with such devastating stories (father's in jail, mom just died, children living with distant uncle because mom was deported, kids are hungry). Sometimes its more than I can take.
Sometimes I want to write checks that I can't afford to families. But I don't. I recognize that an act of charity such as a hundred dollars may allow a family to eat for a week but providing their kids a safe place to be and promoting education will get them farther with that 100 dollars.
But wait! I don't want to sound like some white savior exerting my scholarly voyeurism amongst the poor people. I have many children in the program who are excelling in school and wanting to be challenged. I have parents that are finishing up their nursing degree at ASU and love that there children have other college educated role models. I have single moms who tell me that with the money she saves from our free program allows her to enlist her kids into weekend soccer camps.
I need to develop thicker skin. I will be cognizant to troubledsome families and be alert to opportunities for these families. But for my own sanity, I need to recognize the good work that is being done.
I can relate to thin skin. The first 2 months of my internship, it was very hard not to feel a personal connection when someone would call and tell about getting evicted, not having clothes or food,etc. I had to realize that it is better too be honest with them and do the best I can for them, but not to make any promises that I couldn't fulfill. Thick skin comes with time and experience, I'm barely getting mine.
ReplyDeleteI agree that comes with time and experience but I am hesitant to wanting thick skin.
ReplyDeleteIs it good to be immune to human suffering? Probably not, but on the other hand, could I do my job without thick skin?