What a great evening. What a great good bye.

Today I helped organize the end of the year celebration for all the staff members who were involved with the after school programming with University Service Learning. We played volleyball, tug-a-war and corn hole. We ate food, drank beer, and enjoyed each others company.

Man, I will miss them so much. I love their energy. I love their potential. They showed so much love and respect for me and the work that I do, and I hope I reciprocated with love and appreciation I have of them. We all work so hard for one of another, not for the pay or the glory but for the team and service we provide for a community. This has set the standard for my next place of business and work.

Are You Kidding Me!?

Today is the last day operating after-school tutoring. After today, the kids carry on for the summer and the rest of their lives without me. And what do you guess happens to me? I am sick.

I am lying in bed right now dealing with the repercussions of bad sushi last night. I must lie here and let my body fight off my symptoms before 2pm when I need to get preparing for our end of the year party where at least 50 guests will arrive looking at decorations, children's accomplishments, bbq food, and wanting conversation with me. I want to be there. I need to be there. This is the last day for goodness sakes! And because of that, I will be there sick or not.

I know the staff could handle the operations just fine without me. I know they could improvise on the sections that I promised I would take responsibility for. I know that they will prepare the food, put up the decorations, and welcome the parents. But I want to be there. I need to say good bye.

Back Pack

Oh backpack. You know, I didn't want to buy you. You were too expensive and not at all cute. I would much rather get a fun purple bag with designs and pockets. But I needed you. I was on my way to Spain to travel  beyond the US for my first time and I needed you to be plain and full of utility, not pretty. 

But now, that I carry you on my back 5 years later, I have learned to love you. You are not just a back pack any more; you are my pillow on the bus, my dirty clothes bag at the gym, my blanket in the tent, and my friend on the lonely road. 

I am sorry when that mouse in Costa Rica chewed a to hole get to my trail mix. I am sorry when I kicked you across Heathrow airport because I had no hands to put you on. I am sorry when I stuffed you under my bed for 6 months because I forgot how useful you truly were. I am sorry that you smell like mildew because I left my wet clothes from Cancun in you. And most of all, I am sorry that it is time to put you to rest. 

I am leaving school you see, and dirty, holey, and smelly backpacks are not good for my new professional reputation. I need sleek and appropriate bags that say "Wow! She is well put together". So good bye back pack, memories will remain, but for now I need to let go.

I lost it

The complete team for University Service Learning, meets biweekly to discuss issues and upcoming deadlines. This past Friday was our very last meeting of the semester.  I have been very sentimental in leaving my internship that I have been at for 2 years. This Friday morning meeting was just another "last" for me to feel sad about.

At the end of the meeting, one of the individuals that I manage got up and started singing a Justin Bieber song with changed lyrics that revolve around me. Others joined her and danced in front of everyone giving me my very own flash mob. Then they delivered to me a scrap book with all the children that I work with. Each child had written me a note.

I lost it. I cried and cried and cried. It is so wonderful to be appreciated, and hard to leave a job that I love.

I was holding out

I was holding out. I didn't want to leave my job at ASU. I wanted to be promoted within forever until I replace President Michael Crow. I fought every step of the way. I love my job at ASU. I love the diversity the position offers me. I manage people and projects, I liaison between the community, I work with charitable, outstanding people, I provide leadership. But it was time.

I have been offered a position as Program Manager with Junior Achievement of Arizona. I will continue to manage people and projects, be a liaison in the community, work with kind, charitable, and outstanding people, and provide leadership just in a different arena. I bet, along the way, I will learn even more than my last position could offer me. I needed a new challenge, a new venue, a new set of colleagues. I only resisted because I was scared. But now that I have made my decision and closed all the doors of potential opportunity so that I can open the one door that does provide opportunity, I am ready.

Moving On

As I am nearing the end of my 2 year internship as a Management Intern with University Service Learning, I am becoming beyond sentimental.

I am so proud of the organization that I have helped grow, the relationships and friendships I have made with colleagues, the mentorships that were developed with young professionals completing their MPA, the success of having parents consistently provide wonderful feedback about the services that we offer, and the work that I have put in.

The children have learned from a little bird amongst the organization that I am leaving. Every day that I see them I am greeted with hugs and cries of "why are you leaving?" I can't help but drop a tear. I am so grateful that I have been given the opportunity to help a community, enhance education, be a role model, and meet such wonderful children.

Putting in Time

I am finding that although I assume to be well educated and have years of experience that have enabled me to develop my skills, I do not have the years of experience that demonstrate mastery of a skill. For example, I am a great manager but I will be a stronger manager if I just one more year of experience. I maintain a supplies budget, but do not see the program’s overall budget. I have enacted on my vision for the program, but have not considered taking steps towards a long term program vision. I develop policy for the organization I currently work on, but the policy that I develop allows small changes. Do I have enough experience to provide policy leadership at the top? According to most job applications, I do not. For me to reach my vision of providing leadership for a large non-profit organization, I need to put in my time and stick to my values. My values are closely tied to the non-profit sector because I so strongly wish to alleviate or at least minimize social ills that exist in our local and global community. I must remember this vision and not be side tracked to for-profit jobs that may offer a desirable salary, but put me in a job that I do not feel proud in.